Most leaders and team members hate having difficult conversations. Whether it’s giving feedback or navigating a conflict, the discomfort leads to avoidance and poor communication.
Learning to communicate well in these situations is key to collaboration and relationship building whereas sidestepping these conversations allows problems to fester and grow bigger than they need to. The aim should be to address issues early which reduces misunderstandings, preserves trust and minimises frustration.
If you’ve been putting off a difficult conversation, it’s time to act. Here’s how to do it with clarity, confidence and care.
What’s Holding You Back?
The first step is to acknowledge what’s stopping you from having the conversation. Are you worried about the other person’s reaction? Concerned about damaging your relationship? Or perhaps unsure how to communicate your message? Acknowledging these hesitations is key to proper preparation and effective communication.
Remember that effective communication is the foundation of a good workplace. It’s the exchange of information, ideas and thoughts between individuals or groups in a clear, concise and respectful way. Conversations are not just about conveying information but also about building relationships, gaining efficiencies and reducing misunderstandings, all leading to the creation of positive work environment.
How to Prepare for your Conversation
Define Your Goal
Before you start the conversation, define why this conversation needs to happen. What do you want to achieve? Your goal might be to resolve a conflict, provide feedback for growth or align expectations. A clear purpose will guide your approach and keep the conversation constructive. Also consider your communication style and how you can adapt it to the audience and situation for better communication.
Plan Your Approach
Preparation is key. Outline the key points you need to cover and consider how the other person might react. Focus on facts, examples and specifics not assumptions. Instead of saying “You don’t care about deadlines” say “I’ve noticed deadlines are being missed and I’d like to understand why”. Verbal communication is key to conveying your message clearly and confidently.
Choose the Right Environment
The timing and location of your conversation matters. Choose a neutral, private space where both can focus without distraction. Don’t have the conversation when emotions are running high or during busy periods when there will be distractions.
Also hone your verbal communication skills so your message is conveyed clearly and confidently.
During the Conversation
Lead with Empathy and Active Listening
Difficult conversations require balance between honesty and care. Listen actively to the other person’s perspective and acknowledge their point of view. Simple statements like “I can see how this must be frustrating for you” can help build understanding. Remember you may not have all the information – ask questions not make assumptions.
Remember to really listen. Don’t get too caught up in your own head – consider not just what the other person is saying, but how they’re saying it, and what might be ‘underneath’ the words.
If you need to communicate via email or another written format, ensure you take time to plan and revise communication so your message is conveyed correctly. Ideally, avoid emailing and text-based communication, take the time to connect face to face with the other person for best results!
Related: https://seedpeopleconsulting.com.au/being-an-effective-leader/
Focus on Solutions
Instead of dwelling on problems, past issues or assigning blame, shift the focus to possibilities. Work together to find solutions that address the issue and align with shared goals. This collaborative approach keeps the conversation positive and moving forward.
Be open to suggestions and alternatives, and be realistic about actions and commitments.
Related: https://seedpeopleconsulting.com.au/why-teams-that-disagree-together-stay-together/
Conflict and Difficult Emotions
Conflict and difficult emotions are normal in the workplace, particularly when dealing with difficult issues or feedback. Everyone has their own ways of working through those emotions, here are some of our tips and tricks to handle any conflict and difficult emotions that might rear up:
- Stay calm and composed
- Listen actively and empathetically
- Use “I” statements not “you” statements
- Focus on the issue not the person
- Look for common ground and compromise
- Use non verbal cues like body language and tone of voice to convey empathy and understanding
After the Conversation
Reflect and Follow Up
Take time after the conversation to reflect on what went well and what you might do differently next time. Follow up with the other person to provide any needed clarity and check in on agreed upon actions. This follow through shows you are committed to the resolution and ensures positive change.
Related: https://seedpeopleconsulting.com.au/how-to-have-difficult-conversations-at-work-2/
Let’s get started…
By seeing difficult conversations as opportunities for growth and connection you can strengthen your leadership, improve team dynamics and build a culture of openness and accountability. Remember avoiding these conversations doesn’t make them easier – it usually makes them harder.
So what conversation have you been putting off? Now is the time to start.
